Monday, October 7, 2013

Original iJokes

All of these are creations of my warped sense of humor, so the great thing is, you can simply not share and thus nip this horrible thing in the bud.  Or, if it tickles your funnybone, you only have yourself to blame for sharing!

Why did the pirate update his iPhone?  Because his matey told him he needed an iPatch.

Apple is now developing wearable devices, including one they feel will be popular with pirates.  The iPatch.

If you were stranded on a deserted island, which computer would you have and why?  An Apple, because you can eat it when you get hungry!

An iPhone, an Android, and a Blackberry are shopping at the candy store.  What do they buy?  Caramel coating, Kit Kats, and an Alka Seltzer.  I don't think plop plop, fizz fizz will help, do you?

If Smart Phone Operating Systems were a shopping store:
  • Blackberry would have a cool street sign, but when you go in, the clerks keep directing you towards the data compression aisle no matter what you ask for.  There are 2 other shoppers in the whole, large store, and a For Sale sign is on the outside of the store.
  • The Symbian store is closed, but as you look in the window, you see some pretty cool stuff collecting dust on the shelves.
  • You are confused, there are two stores that look like they are the same.  The Windows Mobile and Windows Phone.  Both are small stores, not much seems to go on there.  The shelves are pretty empty, even though you technically could order anything you want, or even make your own at home.  There are a bunch of squares and rectangles glaring back at you from the window, each flashing some live content that confuses your eyes.
  • A green robot seems to signify that this is the droid you are looking for.  In the store, it is packed with lots of stuff, but the choices are endless and it is quite messy.  In fact, there are 3 checkout lines at different points in the store, and you are not sure which one you should pay at.  Wait, there's actually a 4th checkout, but it's closed.  You could probably sneak past that one without paying.  There's no security in the store, not sure if you feel safe there.
  • Then, you see it: a gleaming, shining glass and brushed aluminum store with a snow white fruity logo.  Friendly security guards watch everyone and everything.  There are lots of choices, but it is neat and orderly.  There is no cash register, in fact, you can pay by placing your thumb on a device each clerk in a blue shirt is carrying.  Prices are reasonable, the store is well-lit, and the color scheme is all simple hues and pastels, very basic designs.  It might even be too orderly for you.  It seems you can get anything here, although everything on it has this bitten fruity logo on it (even the stuff you know came from elsewhere).